Today I bought myself a new doona – a
purchase of necessity, not a life-changing day, just an average day.
As I packed away my old doona it occurred
to me that it was an 18th birthday present from my two Aunties.
That, to my horror, made it a 20 year old doona.
This doona has been
with me my ENTIRE ADULT life. I don't think I have anything else that has been with me for that long.
When I moved out of home it came with me.
When my first real boyfriend spent the night with me we slept under it…
eventually. When that boyfriend stopped calling I cried under it.
I passed out drunk on it.
I laid awake planning my future under it.
The boyfriend and I made up on it and
together we planned our future under it.
Years later he proposed to me as I sat on
it. I said yes and we slept under it on our wedding night.
We built a house and practiced making a
baby under it, on it and all around it. Eventually a baby was conceived on it… well, it was summer! It comforted me as
the realisation sunk in that life was about to dramatically change.
Our son came home and it kept him warm too.
Over the next few years it was thrown up on, pee-d on, cried under and it gave
comfort to an exhausted mother and wife. It was washed in the bath tub and
aired often.
It comforted me when I knew my marriage was over and
I sobbed into it.
Over the last 20 years it has had love made
under it, been fought over, cried under, snuggled into, sweated on, kicked off and kept
everybody warm. It has seen numerous covers and a few beds. It has seen 3 states, countless houses, a marriage, childbirth, a divorce, a couple
of serious contenders and the odd casual lover.
It has been a constant soft place to land
in a crazy life filled with many adventures. It has kept me safe through drunken
nights and sick days. It has shared in my thoughts, in my joys and in my losses.
As I approach 40, which my Mother assures
me is middle-aged, I wonder what the new doona will bring to my life. Is my new
wool doona able to fill the covers of the old feather one? Does the new
wool one mean I have now gone for flat and practical rather than fluffy and
showy? Is this a reflection of my future and my desire for change? Am I lost in
a weird analogy about a doona in comparison to my life?
Lets run with it anyway.
One thing is for certain. I need a doona.
But do I need this new doona?
I will admit that the fluffy showy one is
looking a little flat and it needs constant work as the feathers always end up
at the bottom. Like its owner, gravity has taken over and daily attention is
needed for it to look good and appear useful.
I got it dry cleaned a few times and have pushed back the change for the last few years but I have to admit defeat and accept that, like its owner, its fluff
and show has faded.
As I pack it away I come to accept that I do
indeed need the new one. Its flat, its practical and its stitched in place so it won’t
move, just like its (almost) middle-aged owner. It is warm when it needs to be
and cool when it has to be. It is soft but it is tough.
I believe it has the stability, strength
and quality that it will need to cope with the next 20 years of adventures.
I hope I do too.
